Just what point is it OK to say 'enough is enough', and draw a line in the sand, regarding abuse and senseless attacks from members?

I am such a tolerant person, but I swear, I have my limits. It is particularly frustrating as I just know that if I defend myself directly to these FOOLS, I will be branded as just another rude webmaster, quoted out of context, etc. The same goes if I delete a member for abuse - it will be painted as just another power-crazy program owner.

I finally reached that point!
First of all, i don't worry about those few who will run to forums and post nasty info on me.
I know what i do and why i do it. I inform my members of such.

It seems everytime i say something it's taken out of context by the member who is slamming me in the first place. Turned around to suit themselves etc.

I've long ago stopped worrying about those kinds of members.

I used to take a lot of abuse and bashing in this forum, but people have begun to know me, and appreciate my honest approach.

There have been times, i've backed down, but only when i honestly felt i deleted someone hastily, etc. I'm human as i'm sure you are. And sometimes we tend to take it out on the wrong member.

I know of one instance that i confused someone with someone else, and admitted my mistake and appologized immediately in public.

I'm not afraid to do that either. Most people will bash someone publically then appologize privately. I believe that appology to be worthless in that case.

When someone bashes someone in public, the appology if there is one coming should also be in public.

I wouldn't worry about a few bashers. Some people have nothing better to do.
I will tell you this though.
It's your program, not theirs. They work for you, not the other way around.
If they don't like your rules, there are plenty other sites they can join.

Don't let them pull you down. There are many people who live just to accomplish that. They will use anything you ever say against you no matter what you say. They will turn it around. Don't worry about it. Use your own judgement and speak your piece.
Don't let them walk all over you, as there are some who will try and make your head boil over if you let them.

Thanks Carole,

But I disagree about 1 thing:


I see this very much as a mutual, symbiotic industry. Neither party (of the 3 - advertisers are the 3rd) is of any value without the others. If everybody realised that and acted accordingly (i.e. worked together, not against each other), thoings would be SSOO much better for all.

Unfortunately, so many just automatically see every situation as 'us vs them', which when applied to PTR becomes members vs owners. It's pathetic, but I suppose it is also human.

It's definitely a 3-way street (Now that gives me strange images).

Advertiser+Members+ Webmaster= Program

Remove one of those and you have nothing.

I agree You can own a web site but you may not have it for very long if you dont have advertisers and you wont get any advertisers unless you have a members. I do though suggest not to get rude thats what they are after ,your anger. I am a ember of over 145 ptrs and I have seen some extreamly rude wm that sent letters out to all members griping and I angered me even thought I was not one of those the wm was angry with but it makes me question the wm and the site . I have to admit its made realize that as soon as i make payout im optin out of those sites. You also must remember that those members are also prospective advertisers and you absolutely in this indistry cant not afford to turn away very many advertisers other wise you have no business whats so ever. Those members are also customers and in alot of business Good business they all say the customer is always right. In order to stay and work in the ptr industrie you must at all times bit your tongue no matter what . Try to talk to the member one on one and try to come to an equal agreement. These are just my thoughts and suggestions.

[BI]Hi
My site is only 7 days old ddipaid4 emails.dodropin.com nearing 8 days now and has exploded! 1500 plus members and I am ove whelmed. I do have the support help from other WM's but they too have their own etc. I try to answer each email,
nasty and nice ones and on nastys I keep cool in writing while seeth
while doing so. It is blantly clear they don't read webmaster/admin email
cause I get repetitive question on the very subject I wrote about to
all members. I am getting over 600-800 bounced emails 2-3 times a
day!! Eating me alive in bw! Then lol rofl to top this all off..my
script in the mailer has went wacky. I pre warn them and what good
does it do?? I still get gripes, demands and rudeness. HOWEVER;
A support/applause does filter through no wand then which helps
momentairly. I am at my witts ends cause they want payout on
plat, gold and silver (if reached amount is silver and gold) plat wants
pay every week no matter the amount..!! and I am scared! Scared
I will fold before being a month old! Having to increase bw doesnt
help either..
I argree each is a part of the whole sum take one away and oops
no site to own. But how can you get the "members" to understand?
Thanks[/B]

LOL
Welcome to the club!

Suggestion.
I don't bother with the bounces at all, i was getting 3000 a day.

I have the bounces go to a catch all account and i don't download that into outlook

The reason, they'll go inactive in 30 days and get deleted anyway.
It would take hours to go through the bounces, and i have better things to do with my time like paying my good members.

The bounces will take care of themselves by going inactive.

I have a 30 day inactivity rule where i delete their accounts.

That many !! What size band width do you have! lol?
Thanks for replying to my post I appreciate it
very much.

I'm on a dedicated server. I pay a flat fee every month

ohhhh I have seen some that are mighty expensive but
I am "suppose" to be on a dedicated too. me confused lol
why I get high traffic and created havoc on bw if I am on the
same as dedicated..I am ignorant about these things though lol

That sounds odd, where are you hosted?
A dedicated server should be the same rate every month and should give you an alotted amount of bandwidth each month.

Have been reading the replies to this thread, and I agree and disagree with some of it. I am like most of those that have posted. I try to answer emails poison penned or not, but that still doesn't make thing easier to deal with.

I have reached that point to where I want to say enough, and just start dropping members that feel it is okay to send abusive even to the point of cussing me for thier own stupidity. But the flip side is that I deal with people and have to be more professional than what I really want to do.

Members forget that we are people like they are and we have feelings that get stomped on just like they do. People seem to think in my opinion that webmasters are nothing but words on a screen, and that they can say what they want when they want and hide behind a monitor.

So we have to be more professional and let them know publically when we mess up, but still expect us to take thier abuse when they feel fit to shell it out.

I had a member of one of my sites tell me where to go in a clear cut manner and was swearing in his email because he got mad that he clicked a cheat link. So because he clicked a link I am supposed to take his abuse?

I too am wondering where do you draw the line? I feel that I have a good reputation in this industry, and would hate to see it ruined because someone felt the need to bash me on a forum because they can't read an email.

So when do we webmasters have the right to say enough and not care about our reputation, and let irrate members drag us through the mud and hang us out to dry?

If TenLoonies was stationed in an office building and someone had a problem following the rules or they did'nt like new rules implemented..they would either quit or complain about it to fellow collegues on there lunch break..but they would never come storming int my office swearing at me expecting things to go there way...they know they would get a pink slip!!! They expect us to look at them as employees but they don't want to look at us as employers..I swear...the next person who emails me telling me off will recieve an email back with the words:

YOUR FIRED!!!! PLEASE PACK UP YOUR DESK AND GET OUT NOW!!!

Want to come and run my site??? LOL Guess I am just too soft, and keep thinking of what my father said to me one time. These people pay your bills. But I know he never had those kind of people he worked for, or dealt with for that matter.

I guess I need to quit worrying about my reputation and just run my sites as I see fit. Like most WM, I am tired of my members stomping on me when they feel it is okay for them to do so, and expect me to kiss up to keep them. I am losing members anyway from being inactive so what is the difference right?

My final decision is I'll try to answer all emails etc that come in, as calmly and courteously as I can. But any that are abusive go to the end of the queue, to get attended to after everything else is done. Maybe I'll put a note to that effect on the site too (on the contact page).