Santa is a Girl!
I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.
Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy,
nurturing, social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could
possibly pull it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about
selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always
seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and
mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced
Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe
would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet
under the tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of
all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead,
gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid
wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended.
Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even
if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation
problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow
and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man: Men can't pack a
bag. Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet. Men
would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with
all those elves. Men don't answer their mail. Men would refuse to
allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything
remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly." Men aren't interested in
stockings unless somebody's wearing them. Having to do the Ho Ho Ho
thing would seriously harm their macho image.

Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men...
Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous.
Definite guy. Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a
politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these individuals
could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a
chance.

Amen, girlfriend!!!