101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

omg, ty so much, i just DIED laughing, those were soooooo funny!!!

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

Some fast food employees are so moronic I have been asked for here or to go in the drive-thru.

Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

Done that to rude bartenders... always figure out their personality. If they seem like that they may hate pop, rap, country, whatever... drop a few bucks and let the fun begin.

hehehe... i've done more evil things to annoy people. some of those are pretty good, but need to be elaborated into a more intricate method of annoyance.

maybe i'll be back later to add a few to the list. hehe

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."
97. Never break eye contact.
My lawyer and I have actually used these methods while negotiating my separation agreement. Must have worked, we won all our requests (should have asked for more )

Thats a nice one

...Rick

102. Speak in hushed tones while looking around quickly as if seeing if anyone's watching.

103. When people ask for your phone number, give it to them, but tell them that your phone is tapped by the FBI because of a bad perm you had when you were 12.

104. Begin speaking loudly about how your best friend left you with your dog for satanic sexual practises while shopping at JcPenny in the jewelry department.

105. Go to any major department store to look at curtains. Ask for help. Complain loudly about every texture, material, and/or color in their selections.

106. Refer to family members as Alien #1, Alient #2, etc. Do not explain which family members are assigned which numbers. Change them at random intervals.

107. Go to the 'fragrance' department of Sears. Spray every sample.

108. Complain loudly that the Sears frangrance department smells like a brothel of cheap hookers.

LOVE these. I'm going to try "every single" one of them.

109. When someone asks you a question, always point to the sky and respond with "Only they know". When asked who 'they' are, respond in a whisper with "They can see you now". Refuse to discuss the topic further.

110. Disconnect one wire from the distributor cap. Everytime the car doesn't start properly, jump out the car and run behind some tall, sturdy object (such as a rock wall or a very large tree) as if you were protecting yourself from an explosion. Refuse to go anywhere near your car for the rest of the day.

111. Swear that you're being controlled by an alien implant located in your bowels. Randomly stop and whisper toward your rear, while holding your nose.

112. Pretend that you hear voices. Refuse to tell anyone what they're saying.

113. Select a complicated word. Insert it into sentences randomly throughout the day. Refuse to clarify.

114. Tell everyone you've learned binary. Respond to everything with 1's and 0's.

115. Go to a major furniture store. Stare at a salesperson until they approach you. Do not blink. When they ask you for help, tell them you need a bed with metal headboard and footboard that has bars easy to attach handcuffs. Continue staring at them as they show you different styles. Tell them they are all to big (even twin sized). Ask if they sell whip racks.

116. Wear black leather to the office every day for a month. Tell everyone you're into S&M. Wear pink hello kitty the following month.

Last one for the moment.


117. Turn your radio onto a talk show. Act as if you're hearing heavy metal music. If anyone comments, tell them you love Garth Brooks.

lol, i love things like these

I used to work at a fast-food restaurant. That's one of the most stressful jobs...seriously... Maybe it was a long day for them...

Ok, I can't help it


118. Go to McDonalds drive-thru. Order 9 bean burritos. Complain when they tell you they don't carry them. Go to Taco Bell. Order a Whopper. Go to Burger King. Order a Big Mac.

119. Refuse to eat anything until someone else takes a bite of your food. Stare at them for several minutes. Claim you are being poisoned.

120. Fill your cart at the grocery store to the brim with dozens of 12 different items. Go through the express lane. If they tell you you have too many items, point out that having multiples of one item does not equal having more. After they ring you up, claim you left your wallet at home.

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".




I live in the basement...........

aw. man... doesn't anyone have any more?

121. Post smileys all over the Chit Chat, where no one can complain about it.

122. Engage into stupid threads by typing even stupider answers.

123. Talk to RoadRunner or DaCat in fifteen threads at once.

Evil bippy

lmao

121. Post smileys all over the Chit Chat, where no one can complain about it.

lol

you guys are naughty

124. Go into every 7-11 and take a penny without buying anything. Do these rounds 5 times a day, for 5 days during the same people's shifts.