Mankind has always dreamed of destroying the sun" -- Mr. Burns

Oooh, so Mother Nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she's losing. Well I say, hard cheese." -- Mr. Burns

*Edit had 2 much better once's*

DOUGH DOUGH.

IM GOING KILL YOU. When Homer Simpson Chocked his BART Neck.

"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine." -- Homer Simpson

"You know, fingerprints are just like snowflakes. They're both very pretty." -- Chief Wiggum

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'." -- Homer Simpson

Do you want to change your name to Homer, Jr.? The kids can call you Hoju! --Homer Simpson

Does whisky count as beer? --Homer Simpson

This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit. --Homer Simpson

Never heard this one before

The only one I can think of now is

ummmm burger- homer

But I'm All Milhouse! Plus, my mom says I'm the handsomest guy in school! -- Milhouse

Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2 -- Chief Wiggum

I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until ... Oh, what the ######. I'll just crush him like an ant. - Mr. Burns


Edited to add, I must complain, the word editor screwed up my nice quote lol

Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa - Bart

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? - Homer

"An election!? That's one of those deals where they close the bars isn't it?" -- Barney Gumbel

"I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES." -- Homer Simpson

"I didn't do it" ~ Bart

"Just hook it to my vein!!" when Barney won a lifetime supply of Duff beer at the local indepenent film contest

D'OH

Any key? Wheres the any key? - Homer when he was looking at the computer screen and it read press any key

Homer: You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

Homer: No offense Apu, but when they're handing out religions you must be out taking a whizz.
Apu: Mr. Simpson, pay for your purchases and get out...and come again.