The other night I was invited out for a night with "the lads." I told my wife that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy.

Around 3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing she'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when smashed out of my skull), in order to escape a possible conflict with her.

The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her 12:00. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one. Then she said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked her why, she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "oh s.hit," cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat and farted.

I will have to remember to try that next time I am late. lol

That sounds like something my man would try to do.