My daughter will be going to junior high in sept. It has been a known fact for a while that 12 and 13 year old girls are giving boys oral sex in the bathroom of this school for two dollars.

I have been trying to find good friendly sites that I can use to help me talk to my daughter about sex.

If anybody can point me to some good sites or wish to share some ideas with me that would be so awesome.

I am just about out of my mind. Trust me I am truely contemplating locking her away till she is 30

I think I'd personally lock her up

It looks like there are some good books out there that can help deal with lots of different issues. Books may be better than websites - perhaps check out your local bookstore. I personally am of the belief that an open line of communication with your daughter, and discussing the issues together, even with the help of a book, is better than sitting her on the internet to learn about it. Just my opinion. A book may help you be able to structure this in such a way that she feels comfortable talking to you, and also at a pace she can comprehend. This way, you get to control the content a lot more too, and because you know her best, you will be able to make it work for her.

I have an 11 year old stepdaughter, and although I am not her other, I have opened up lines of communication with her in such a way that we have comfortable discussions at a pace she can handle.

12 and 13

think that school should be having gurds outside of the bathrooms or something there are ways of preventing this from happening and if its been happening a while think yall should be getting a new school board and administrators.

Try this. I didn't really read them, so I'm not sure if they say the same things or not.

http://www.talkingwithkids.org/sex.html

http://www.puberty101.com/aacap_talksex.shtml

http://www.uihealthcare.com/topics/parenti...e/pare4850.html

http://www.familymanagement.com/facts/english/facts62.html

http://www.ivillage.com/topics/parenting/0,,448559,00.html (there are several different arctiles to look at in this one.)

Well I hope some of those will help. Good luck..

Write sex education in Google.com.
You will find something.

Sex education is fine, but what is equally if not more important, is teaching her to respect herself and her body. And to stick to her principles, inspite of what `all' her friends do.

Tell her once her virginity is gone she cant get it back and a girl will get a reputaiton if she loses it. I went to an all girl high school. It is also illegal to have sex under age. Aids is also a deadly problem and is incurable. It is sexually transmitted. Pregnancy is also a problem throughout this age group. What a problem with all those hormones running around. Do you have all girl schools? Tell her there are limits and her goal should be to concentrate on her studies. And when she is older she should never, ever go past first base until she is married. (that is kissing) That way she will keep respect and find out if the boy is responsible and eventually able to hold down a job etc. Get her involved in sports to burn off some of that energy.

Skazzie you sound like a male. I am a mother and a female. I also have a daughter. I would rather protect my daughter from aids, pregnancy, broken hearts, and bad reputations and falling for bums. Someone posted here about a youbg girl falling for an abusive male and getting pregnant, ending up broke and homeless. You cant just tell her to use condoms (although that too). A virgin is less likely to run away from home, get into trouble or drugs and graduate from high school Dont criticise my posts. If you set the highest standard possible them whats wrong with that. If you getsexually involved and fall in love with a bum he will lead you into trouble. Her priority should be reaching graduation, not sleeping around.

I didnt realise how important things were and got pregnant to my first boyfriend. At that age (17) years. He was violent, addicted to substances, unfaithful, unemployed, threatening. I fell out with my parents and all sorts of things happened. He even took my money. At that age you should be having fun. That fun can carry a price. Years later I am still paying that price. When young gills start having sex they get involved and their judgement is clouded.

Gotlucky, well i gotta admit this is one of the few times in my life i've been accused of being male! LOL

I am very definitely female. I am not a mother, however I have been close friends with some younger girls whom I've watched go thru high school and learn to deal with sex, drugs and alcohol. Their parents knew practically nothing of what they did away from the home and they would have been shocked. By keeping my judgements to myself I was able to give them advice that they actually listened to.

I know that being the "older sister" is different to actually being the parent, but by being too focused on them being "good girls" and always doing the right thing, the parents involved were effectively unable to be the positive influence they wanted to be.

I found that like most teens, tell them what not to do and they'll go ahead and do it. By telling them "i don't think you should do that, but ultimately it's your decision" and putting that onus and responsibility back on them (and showing them trust in their ability to make those important decisions), i was able to both help prevent some of their bigger mistakes and keep informed of exactly what was going on.

Well at least you know the trouble they can get into. I think before graduation is best to say no to sex and drugs and for boys also.

I dont want to even think about my daughter as a teen...if my actions are anything to go on

I just want to add that my parents gave me all the freedom in the world. I never had sex until after I left school. My problems didnt start until I started having sex. I dont think all that freedom is a good idea considering the dangers that we know are out there. There was no aids back then. But there were and still are other dangers.

I'm not a parent so my opinion may count for nothing. I think it is more important to help her develop her own opinions than to simply say 'dont do this'.

When I was in senior school there were a very small number of sexually active girls of 11,12,13, the number went up as their age went up. There was never anything, that I was aware of, of 12yr olds offering oral sex for money I can only think that some bad parenting, lack of communication between the children and parents and peer pressure would be responsible for that kind of behaviour?

My mum wasnt very open with me about sex, her attitude was rather 'old fashioned', attitude of dont have sex until you are married! She died when I was 14, so she never found out whether I stuck to that or not

I think I would want to teach a girl (or a boy) to wait until they are ready to deal with any consequences that might arise from sex, pregnancy, diseases, social stigma at younger ages etc. Try to teach them that sex is great in a loving respectful relationship and when you are mature enough to deal with all the possible consequences and are also mature enough to use precautions properly, but that before that it is best avoided.

I would love to be able to have an open relationship with a child where they felt able to come to me to say, 'my best friend is having sex, I am not sure if I want to, they are saying I should' or 'my boyfriend wants sex but I dont know what to do', and then you could discuss it openly and honestly with the child so that they can make their own decision that they will be happy and sure about. I think it is also good if they can come to you to say, 'I heard this, or that' and you can debunk any theories that are going round in that age group. Things like, if you do it standing up you wont get pregnant, or you cant get pregnant the first time or during your period etc.

I would also tell them that the first time is the one you will always remember, whether it was good or bad or whoever it was with. Try to make sure that you will have good memories of your first time and not negative memories of being coerced into something you weren't ready for.

heck you mean my line works now dang never did then LMAO

seriously i shouldnt be jokin as this is a serious issue just struck me wrong saince i tried to convince many a female of this back then.

Articles to read:

http://www.medinstitute.org/medical/STD%20...view/OS&STD.htm

http://www.dadi.org/kidorlsx.htm

http://www.colonial-heights.com/YouthNewsletter.htm
Scroll down and read "Did You Know?"

http://www.healthcentral.com/news/newsfull...D=46057&src=n43

http://www.thebody.com/cdc/news_updates_ar...school_sex.html

http://www.truelies.org/sex.htm

You guys and gals are great.

Thanks so much for the input.

Here is my plan of action: I am scouring through books and web sites and taking out two categories. One is information that pertains to her age group that I think she can handle now and then more information to be set aside for her when she gets a few years older.
From there I am making a booklet that me and her will be able to sit down with and read together and talk.
I think the booklet that I make will also give her the impression HEY mommy made this for me so it must be important . Knowing my daughter she should think this so there for I have her attention.

My information will also be about respecting herself and her body as some of you have stated.

I myself was pregnant with her at the age of seventeen. After I was pregnant her father moved away and neither her or I have ever seen him since. I don't want that to happen her to her .

There are so many things that I want to explain and teach her but I know that it has to be done slowly so that she can absorb everything and really think and understand each key point.

Each child is different and I hope that I know my daughter as well as I think I do so that this can be as comfortable as it can be for both her and I

edited to add: I live in Nova Scotia canada

I hate thinking about my children (particularly my stepdaughter) growing up, becoming teenagers and contemplating the dilemma that is sex. But I don't think gotlucky is being realisitc. The fact is, kids DO grow up. The fact is kids WILL at some stage be curious about their own and other people's bodies. They WILL want to experiment. They WILL want to understand. Refusal to accept that your kids MIGHT have sex is essentially condemning them to ignorance.

The best way of handling this is accepting that the kids MIGHT have sex, not BANNING them from having it (cause then you'd NEVER know if they did or not) and communicating all of the pros and cons, making sure they have respect for themselves, helping them understand their own reasons for wanting or not wanting to have sex, and so on.

If anyone here believes their problems of teenage pregnancy, etc, all resulted from having sex, well, that is only PART of the story. The other part is ignorance about contraception options, the inability for you to talk to someone about the issues at hand, etc.

Tell me gotlucky, did you ever get told "don't have sex because...."? Would you have listened anyway? CHances are the answer to the second question is no. What teenager ever listens if they THINK they know better.

My mother took me to my doctor and had him organise a pill prescription for me. Better that she understood I was going to do it anyway, rather than ignoring it - I had my first child at 28, and am having my second now at almost 35. Sex didn't cause any problems, never has. Because I have always had the opportunity to speak openly about it, respect myself, and have the information available to make my own decisions about my life.

Still didn't stop me making bad judgements about my first husband....... unfortunately, many of us make those mistakes, even as we get older and even when we think we are wiser.

Just arm your kids with knowledge, openness and self esteem, and I think they will fare much better than locking them up permanently.

you have to do with what your cliental have and boys of the same age may have a couple bucks for luch pencils folders etc.. but that is about it what you prefer these girls charge $50

Lol. I guess I would prefer they didnt see giving boys a **** *** in the toilets as an alternative to a paper round!

My broken heart took me 2 years to get over. They were wasted years. Some people cant move on at that age. Just because no sex before marriage is old fashioned doesnt mean it isnt the best position to take. That is what the Bible teaches. Does your daughter belong to a church youth group? I went to church about 14-17, Boy did I get into trouble after I left there. And there were lots of cute boys there.

I dont ever hide anything from my daughter, if she asks, she gets an answer. I dont want her to think that there is anything wrong or dirty about sex. I want her to have a healthy view of it as a wonderful thing that happens between two people who love each other. I am starting to answer her questions NOW, and find out her views on things - obviously very low-key, she's not even 6 yet! - but when the time comes for her to need someone to talk to about these things, I want her to know that I have always been open and honest with her about sex and her body.

She knows how she was born but is NOT impressed! She hasnt quite asked yet how I fell pregnant, so I havent offered the info, but if she did ask I would tell her. There is nothing worse, I think, for a child to see an adult getting awkward about something, it just fires their curiousity and they start wanting to know what the 'big deal' is, except they cant ask you because they know from experience that you get embarrassed.

She also knows she was in Mommy's womb already when Mommy and Daddy got married.

Am I doing the right thing with her? Who knows. Kids dont come with instructions!

Iam going to type this really fast, because I only have five minutes left.
When I was 14 I had sex with a girl who got pregnant, however the child turned out not to be mine. through DNA testing.
I don't care how you do it, but make sure you tell her becuase it's not a pretty situation when they have to deal with the results.

I would want to aim for that kind of thing Mandy. To answer their questions factually and in a way that is suitable for their age, without hiding things and making sex sound 'bad' or 'dirty' but not to give too much info at the same time before they are ready.

Kids have to know about sex at some stage, and you have to debunk the things they learn from their peers. I cringe when I hear about people in the past not learning about sex until their wedding nite and getting a bit of a shock! That didnt even stop all kids experimenting, it just made loving sex seem dirty and gave a stigma to women who were sexually active, yet if they became pregnant through ignorance there was no help, just the stigma.

Telling 5 year olds that babies come from the cabbage patch, or that the stork brings them, wont stop the five year olds playing 'show me yours, and I'll show you mine'. Giving them factual information might not stop that entirely either, and maybe that is a natural part of growing up in our culture where we cover our bodies in normal society. But the factual information will build a basis to fall back on when they do get to 8 to 12 years old and do begin to need more practical information, even if they dont have sex, they need to be aware of the issues around it.

Arben, that is a really sad story. That would be tough to deal with when you are 20 or 30 let alone 14 or younger. And it obviously wasnt just the pregnant girl that was affected, you were too. I think too often underage sex is considered only taking girls into consideration. Protect the girls but encourage the boys to grow into proper men. I would rather both sexes were encouraged to grow at a rate that is right for them as individuals and to take into consideration that their boy/girlfriend and their peers might be at a different state of maturity than they are.

That is why I advocate building up a child's knowledge base and explaining that things like that can happen and when it does happen you have to be able to deal with the consequences. Just because you are using contraception of some kind, does not always rule out pregnancy and boys and girls need to be aware that they have to take responsibility for their sexual actions. If stories like that scare kids into waiting a few more years or making sure they know exactly how their bodies work and how to use contraception properly and use barrier methods to prevent disease, then kids should be told the stories as soon as they are able to understand.

Gotlucky, I dont think it is wrong to suggest abstinence for younger people, but I do think it is unrealistic to expect it of them or to suggest that you would be disappointed in them if they couldnt live up to that expectation. Just because they are informed about sex doesnt mean they should go out and do it, it also means enabling them to make whatever decision they come to for themselves is 'ok', whether that is I want to go ahead and be careful, or I am not yet ready, I will store the knowledge for future use and be careful when I am ready.

I cant vouch for the truth in this story, I read it in a newspaper years ago.

A man and his wife had been trying for a baby for years unsuccessfully. Finally they decided to seek medical help. When the wife was examined it was discovered that her hymen was still intact. Yet they had been married for years and trying for a baby!

The doctor coaxed out of them that they had believed that the man deposited his semen into the woman's naval to make a baby

I saw on Oprah that teen pregnancy is a big problem. My brother became a father at 16 years old, I was pregnant at the same time. However, neither of us went on to have any more children, some are only brave enogh when they are young! My brother died at 36 years old. HIs daughter is a sweetie, now married.

The first post horrified me! 12 years old girls having oral sex for money!!!!

Maybe I am a bit tough but the problem here is not sex: it is prostitution.
Sounds hard, but that's exactly what it is.

I think that troubles begin with wrong education.
Giving our children a good education is something important for life. And not only about sex!
Isn't is important that they feel free to ask their parents whatever they doubt? I think it is. And reading posts as Mandy's makes me think that there are still parents that know that education requires and huge effort and that confidence is much more important than many people think.

Some people seems to think that hidding the truth is unmoral, but they are wrong.
If you do not talk to your children about sex, they will be longing to try -we all know teenagers love doing exactly those things that are prohibited to them- but they will be not prepared to face it.
There are many "urban legends" about sex everywhere and they might fall.

I know I am old fashioned, but I have always thought that we should tell children about love and sex. At least I sincerely think they are related.
Sometimes they think it's something "cool" and they just have sex to feel more mature. Just like smoking or drinking.
But we can teach them that sex is just a corporal expression of love, and maybe they'll understand that sex is not bad at all -but there are things they need to learn about.

I have read through this whole thread and have read a lot of valid opinions. Can I just make one plea though? When talking to your children about sex, please be honest and open with them. Do not tell them it is dirty, that it shouldn't happen before they are married.

Have any of those people with that attitude considered that a child who is being molested will remember your comments and find it ten times harder to tell you what is happening to them?

Mandy, like others, I think you are doing a great job.

Wow, thank you!

If you can please just make a note of that and in ten years time when I have a difficult teenager on my hands, to tell her I'm doing my best?

Oh no I was molested by an uncle at around 6 years old. I ended up telling my parents. I am like Oprah, have a lot of life experience. I know a lot about prostitution too, it is legal in both Australia and New Zealand all my life. We do not have much of a problem with underage prostitution though. We do not hear much about that.

I think you need to so some research about having sex is not good thing for your boys and girls.

They could possible get HIV OR AIDS. Teach your boys and girls to use condom?

I think your boy need go to The Counsel or The Maury Show.

Having Sex can cause him to get someone pregnats. Teach the boys you have first baby then that is your responsible to support the child. Who will mostly take care of the Kid. I bet you have take care of the child.

Did you know Im still Virgin. Never done it before I wait for the right time.

It is the girls doing it, not the boys. And there is no way a school would put cameras in bathrooms. There was a rumor for a few years in our school that the white boxes up on the walls in the bathrooms are cameras. People weren't very happy with that. When we had a daylong power outage, the boxes proved to be emergency lights