Full Version: I have 500 condoms!
The mail just came and with it was a box of 500 condoms from free condoms.com! I'm going to give them to my man for his b-day as a little joke! I can't get over it! I have 500 not 5, not 50, YES!!!! 500 CONDOMS sitting on my bed! I just had to tell you all! Sorry if I offended anyone.
I need the condoms!!!
Give them to me. My gf been acting crazy for the last two weeks.
Give them to me. My gf been acting crazy for the last two weeks.
I don't think you would need all 500!
here is a little joke on large condom packs...
A phone rings at a customer support office of some condom manufacturer .
'Condoms'r'us, can I help you?'
'Listen lady, yesterday I bought one of your supper saver 100 condom packs, and there were only 98 condoms inside.'
'I am very sorry, it must have been some mistake during packing process. If you give us your mailing address we will send you another 100 condoms as a compensation.'
'oh yeah? and you think that 100 lousy condoms can compensate for a wasted evening?'
A phone rings at a customer support office of some condom manufacturer .
'Condoms'r'us, can I help you?'
'Listen lady, yesterday I bought one of your supper saver 100 condom packs, and there were only 98 condoms inside.'
'I am very sorry, it must have been some mistake during packing process. If you give us your mailing address we will send you another 100 condoms as a compensation.'
'oh yeah? and you think that 100 lousy condoms can compensate for a wasted evening?'
Ya know, I actually counted them and they were supposed to send 500, but they sent me 585! I guess I had the opposite problem. Oh yeah, Kanarek, I don't get the joke at all.
80% of people don't get it, but it is the only joke about condoms that I know.
There are lots on the free condoms site.
here's a good one
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Condom Factory
A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud "hiss-pop" noise. "The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold," explains the guide. "The popping sound is the needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple."
Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a "Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop" noise. "Wait a minute!" says the man taking the tour. "I understand what the 'hiss, hiss,' is, but what's that 'pop' every so often?"
"Oh, it's just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine," says the guide. It pokes a hole in every fourth condom."
"Well, that can't be good for the condoms!"
"Yeah, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"
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Condom Factory
A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud "hiss-pop" noise. "The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold," explains the guide. "The popping sound is the needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple."
Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a "Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop" noise. "Wait a minute!" says the man taking the tour. "I understand what the 'hiss, hiss,' is, but what's that 'pop' every so often?"
"Oh, it's just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine," says the guide. It pokes a hole in every fourth condom."
"Well, that can't be good for the condoms!"
"Yeah, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"
It may be funny, but here in Poland we had a problem with some anti-porn, anti-abortion and anti-birth control activists who urged people selling condoms to punch holes in them. And some of them did. I bought a packet like that, but luckily noticed it before I used that condom. Since then I do buy condoms only in pharmacies.
I have over 500 with no holes here!
QUOTE (Kanarek @ Sep 28 2002, 06:14 PM)
It may be funny, but here in Poland we had a problem with some anti-porn, anti-abortion and anti-birth control activists who urged people selling condoms to punch holes in them. And some of them did. I bought a packet like that, but luckily noticed it before I used that condom. Since then I do buy condoms only in pharmacies.
what about std's.. aren't they worried about that by punching holes??
That must make more money for the pharmacists and doctors...either way, it must make them money
They were doing it to stop people from sinning.
The Church teaches that the use of condoms is the same sin as murder male masturbation, oral sex, ###### sex, and sex in any other position than, guess what, missionary. But if the condom has a hole in it it can be used.
Anyway doctors are making good money. Since abortion had been forbidden in Poland the doctors demand 10 times more for doing it.
The Church teaches that the use of condoms is the same sin as murder male masturbation, oral sex, ###### sex, and sex in any other position than, guess what, missionary. But if the condom has a hole in it it can be used.
Anyway doctors are making good money. Since abortion had been forbidden in Poland the doctors demand 10 times more for doing it.
QUOTE (tipsy @ Sep 28 2002, 04:00 PM)
what about std's.. aren't they worried about that by punching holes??
i guess that doesn't matter when you're an extremist pro-lifer...
Sorry for reviving this thread to those who are offended by it..
oh heck, if you're reading it that's your choice.
I think sex is natural. (not sure about some forms of it though..)
I also think moderation is good in pretty much anything.
Do most animals only have sex in their mating season?
I don't like condoms.
I just saw this news:
Oral sex lessons to cut rates of teenage pregnancy
http://politics.guardian.co.uk/publicservi...1212839,00.html
oh heck, if you're reading it that's your choice.
I think sex is natural. (not sure about some forms of it though..)
I also think moderation is good in pretty much anything.
Do most animals only have sex in their mating season?
I don't like condoms.
I just saw this news:
Oral sex lessons to cut rates of teenage pregnancy
http://politics.guardian.co.uk/publicservi...1212839,00.html
| QUOTE |
| Encouraging schoolchildren to experiment with oral sex could prove the most effective way of curbing teenage pregnancy rates, a government study has found. Pupils under 16 who were taught to consider other forms of 'intimacy' such as oral sex were significantly less likely to engage in full intercourse, it was revealed. Britain's teenage pregnancy rate is the highest in Europe. In 2002 there were 39,286 teen pregnancies recorded. The government has spent more than ?60 million to tackle the problem but so far failed to halt the rise. A sex education course developed by Exeter University trains teachers to talk to teenagers about 'stopping points' before full sex. Now an unpublished government-backed report reveals that a trial of the course has been a success. Schoolchildren, particularly girls, who received such training developed a 'more mature' response to sex. The study by the National Foundation for Educational Research found youngsters were 'less likely to be sexually active' than peers who received traditional forms of sex education, dispelling the fears of family campaigners who believe such methods actually arouse the sexual interest of teenagers. Now the government will recommend the scheme, called A Pause, to schools throughout England and Wales following the success of the trial in 104 schools where sexual intercourse among 16-year-olds fell by up to 20 per cent, according to Dr John Tripp of the Department of Child Health at the University of Exeter, who helped to design the course. Teachers who sign up to the course are primed to deal with queries from pupils on all kinds of sexual experience. Those behind the course stress the scheme does not suggest teenagers experiment with oral sex. Instead they say A Pause promotes the message that other forms of physical intimacy are safer than full intercourse. 'It teaches people assertiveness skills and that they should be only as intimate as they feel comfortable with,' said Tripp. A Department for Education and Skills spokesman said the report's verdict would be made available to all schools. 'All teachers respect peer-reviewed material, and this will help influence their decision,' he said. |
Now another study showed oral sex to be linked to mouth cancer (due to infections, in both sexes)
Birth control pills are very popular in my country,
but IMO they cause a lot of problems (and I think supplementing hormones is a bad idea in general):
they have many side effects (including draining importing nutrients such as vitamin B-6 which is ironically essential for hormone balance),
and a study showed they cause women to be attracted to bad men (and so when they get together and she stops taking the pill, she is less attracted to him, and more attracted to another type of men) - which could cause many social problems and even stimulate crime.
What method of anti-conception (if any) do you prefer?
I know there are also uncommon alternatives.
I use the birth control patch. I was thinking about getting the Mirena IUD, but I don't like things that hurt. 
| QUOTE (Kanarek @ Sep 28 2002, 10:25 PM) |
| 80% of people don't get it, but it is the only joke about condoms that I know. |
Maybe 80% of men DO get it.
| QUOTE (Kanarek @ Sep 28 2002, 10:16 PM) |
| here is a little joke on large condom packs... A phone rings at a customer support office of some condom manufacturer . 'Condoms'r'us, can I help you?' 'Listen lady, yesterday I bought one of your supper saver 100 condom packs, and there were only 98 condoms inside.' 'I am very sorry, it must have been some mistake during packing process. If you give us your mailing address we will send you another 100 condoms as a compensation.' 'oh yeah? and you think that 100 lousy condoms can compensate for a wasted evening?' |
I?m 1 of the 20% that get it!!!!!
here's my joke about condom:
in the old french condom box, they didnt use to be french translated, so people would read : put rubber on the organ, ... so evryone was looking for the piano in the box
oh well.. ok its suck
eh proud user of the pill, no need for thoses sheep bladder hahaha!!! {--- latex allergik
in the old french condom box, they didnt use to be french translated, so people would read : put rubber on the organ, ... so evryone was looking for the piano in the box
oh well.. ok its suck
eh proud user of the pill, no need for thoses sheep bladder hahaha!!! {--- latex allergik
| QUOTE (Styr @ May 10 2004, 07:14 AM) |
| here's my joke about condom: in the old french condom box, they didnt use to be french translated, so people would read : put rubber on the organ, ... so evryone was looking for the piano in the box oh well.. ok its suck |
perhaps this should have been called the gossamer thread Any1 know where the phrase "french letter" came from ???
I can?t see a connection with condoms.
Also what other uses are there for these things ?
Heres a few ideas :-
Ballons.
Water bombs.
Masks for bank robbers.
You peeps can think up any more
Joe
http://www.gossamer-threads.com/ (lets see how many peeps click this
)
off topic...joe u from vancouver?
| QUOTE (monicagulati @ May 10 2004, 07:33 AM) |
| off topic...joe u from vancouver? |
errr..no born UK live in Spain now. Did live some time in Ft Worth - thats the closest I?ve got to Vancouver
?what made you think that ?
Regards
Joe
u dont wanna know rofl
i clicked that link u posted
and a vancouver addy came up on the site
i clicked that link u posted
and a vancouver addy came up on the site
They blow up about as big as beach balls when you use them as balloons...
Speaking of oral sex...
Speaking of oral sex...
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