Being from and living in a Mid-Western state like Ohio, I know I can appreciate at least some of this!


Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when
Easterners and Californians cross a mid-western state such as Wisconsin, Ohio, Michigan and Indiana Tourism Councils have adopted a new policy. In an effort to help outsiders understand the rural Midwest, the following list will be handed to each person as they enter the state.

1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before
breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

2. It's called a gravel road. No matter how slow you drive,
you're going to get dust on your new Navigator. I have a four-wheel drive because I NEED it. Step on it or get it out of the way.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We eventually got over it.

4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you whipped ----- by our women.

5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for. . . bait.

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will be forced shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a whole fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink.

9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order
steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.

10. You bring Coke into MY house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.

11. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're REALLY
impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we only use two weeks out of the year.

12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town.
You stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they WANT to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't THAT cute.

14. Yeah, we eat catfish, carp, too -- and turtle. You really
want sushi and caviar? It's available down at the bait shop.

15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it.

16. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's
a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.

17. So EVERY person in EVERY pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Understand that foreign concept?

18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish.

19. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for
driving like an idiot. . . his name is "Sir" no matter how young he may look.

LMAO that's cute jenna!!

Hey Jenna that is cute.

Being from the backwoods swamps of South Carolina here I have a few modifications to the midwest policy:

The Opening day of deer season here (AUG. 15TH) is a State Holiday for all who hunt.
We have to start fishing at 2 and hunting at 3. We must know how to clean deer and fish by 4.
Since we don't even have a stop light (I grew up in a community with a population at my birth including me was 67.) Just a stop sign at a 3 way intersection we stop at the neighbors houses just to say "hey"

oh man! how many people were in your school? can you list off the first names of all the residents by heart? hehe just kidding!!

Well actually the school was pretty big but it took an hour and 15 min bus ride each way to get there. It was for the whole county where i lived.

wow... there were 4 highschools in the city i live in (not including private schools) and there were over 1,500 kids about in each school... lunch time was a b**** when they stopped off campus lunches!!! LoL

When I was growing up and someone said "city" we would have had to ask a teacher. lol

hahaha do you live in such a smaller 'town' now as well?

Actually I live in a small city now 100,000 or so. but their are 5 municapalaties(sp) that touch each other for a total of about 350,00. So I have moved down or up to the city. depends on your perspective.

Glad you guys like

The town I grew up and went to school in was small 10 years ago - recently though they turned the old high school into the junior high, built a NEW high school to accomodate the growth in student numbers, built another elementary school a few years ago, and the old junior high? Well I wouldnt be surprised if THAT became another school. I guess education is finally more important than MONEY in my old hometown. My God how things can change in a few years - it used to consist of a couple grocery stores, a few restaurants and fast food chains, a couple churches - very small-townish. Man, something new seems to go up everytime I pass through there!!

I feel OLD :ph34r:

Where I grew up there is still only one stop sign but prob. have over 150 people now. they only update the sign once a month. But about few yrs ago they got one of those "kuntry kurner stores". lol